Saturday, March 3, 2012

FNN Report: New Republican Initiative

This report was filed by our political reporter, Stacy Conundrum. 

Senator Santorum's information officer today held a press conference to brief reporters on the main thrust of the candidate's new campaign.  Ira Babcock told reporters that Santorum is convinced the major problem with the country is the amount of unbridled liberty that citizens have.  Babcock quoted the Senator, "Liberty must be tempered with responsibility. People can't decide on their own what is permissible.  It is the responsible of the authorities to rule on what is allowed.  Once that guidance is in place, our society will become much more focused on what is important and what is counterproductive. This will restore America to its former greatness and glory."
Babcock explained that after Santorum is elected President, he will pass legislation that will make crimes out of major sins.  "This is a time honored procedure.  History is filled with examples of states enforcing religious restrictions."
When a reporter asked if this amounted to a new Inquisition, Babcock answered, "Not at all.  All of the Christian religions have agreed to staff and fund a new Holy Office.  Its job will be oversee the population and point out sinners to the civil authorities.  That is all the Holy Office will do.  It will not be involved in arresting or questioning of these suspected sinners."
In reply to another reporter's question, Babcock said the campaign has the approval of many Republican leaders and he is confident that it will become the main plank in the platform developed during our convention in August.
FNN will follow this breaking news and issue further reports as necessary.

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