Saturday, October 29, 2011

Zaftan Miscreants up for adoption!

The "Adopt an Indie" website has my book waiting to be adopted.  It involves getting a copy (free) and reading it, then ask me and other authors questions and/or writing a review.  The event runs during the entire month of November.
The link to my page on the site is here.  And here is the request form.  Fill it out to adopt my novel.  Laughter guaranteed.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Zaftan Miscreant Review

Hank Quense has done it again! His addition of Slash 9, the ship's computer, who wants to control the ship and demands Sam's allegiance brings laughter. But his character Dot 38, an antique robot who has been floating in space for years, is absolutely hilarious. It is portrayed as a spreader of the good news waiting for the Mechanical Messiah to come and save all of the mechanical beings. Then after a knock on the head, it decides the best solution is to form unions for all types of mechanical devices including the Council of Clocks and the Amalgamated Appliances Association.

If there was ever an author born to write satire, Hank Quense is our man. While reading Zaftan Miscreants I couldn't help but compare it to our own world of events. The names and looks may have been changed to protect the innocent, but the insinuations are definitely familiar. As with the 1st book in this series, I have laughed hard as I pictured the scenes in my mind and as I pictured the character from the author's description. Hank Quense is truly a man with an imagination!
Martha Cheves: 5 stars


You can read the entire review on Amazon

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Death of Democracy

This is my personal opinion based on reading history and current event articles.
The Occupy Wall Street movement is protesting a number of issues, but the primary one that links all the issues together is the death of democracy that started with the Declaration of Independence and the Revolutionary War.  
The cause of death is the spectacular success of unfettered and loosely regulated capitalism.  The politicians in Washington who were supposed to protect the Constitution and our democratic way of life have become slaves to the money faucet that capitalism has turned on in the form of lobbyists and campaign donations.  
Our democratic system has been replaced by an oligarchy of money and influence.
While this change has been going on for a number of years, perhaps starting as long ago as 1776, the change process completed under Bush and Cheney, who are part of the oligarchy, and it took several years before we got the full impact. 
The oligarchs are powerful leaders in the energy, drug, defense, banking and other major industries.  They dictate policy to their bought Congressmen and the oligarchs expect their congressional minions to implement the demands.  This means that all legislature passed in Congress is tilted to favor the oligarchs thus making their hold on the country even stronger
How do we take back democracy? I don't know the answer, but we can't expect Congress to turn off the money faucet by itself.  
Some partial answers are to overturn the Supreme Court's ruling that corporations are people with a right to free speech (I.e. campaign donations).  Lobbyists must be strictly regulated or even banned.  A giant step in the right direction would be to institute strict term limits on Congress.  A wave of fresh blood makes it much harder and expensive for the oligarchs to control Congressmen who are constantly getting replaced.  They would be reluctant to fork over money to a Congressman who will soon be out of a job.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Author Interview: Stephanie Campbell: Part 2









This post is a continuation of my interview with Stephanie Campbell.  Today she'll talk more about her new book and her future plans.

Tell us about the book:

Ronnie Toll has never played with other kids. He's never slept soundly throughout the night, turned a corner without checking first, or laughed for the sake of laughing. All Ronnie knows is a world of shadows and monsters. His mother and father, Marion and Leon, are the only ones by his side. But all that is about to change when his mother is murdered by the monsters that only he can see. With his only safe haven crumbling around him, Ronnie becomes a poacher for the other side to help protect human civilization as he knows it. The problem is, he’s taking on more than he bargained for when he tangles with creatures that are larger than life—and himself. 

How is your book different than others out in the market? What needs does your book meet that makes it a must for someone to buy?

I’ve never seen another book that involves the government and guns in combination with fantasy. My book has both. There are very few swords in my book, because I like to keep it realistic. I’ve seen many YA novels that make me wonder, ‘With modern technology, wouldn’t it just be easier to get a rifle?’ I know that it’s termed young adult, but hurting someone, even a monster, with a sword is just as bloody as shooting somebody.

Tell us more about Ronnie Toll. 

Ronnie Toll is a boy who sees monsters that nobody else can. He loves his family, but he also blames himself for a lot of things that he didn’t do. Despite what he thinks about himself, he is a very loving character. 

What do you do when you aren't writing stories?

My eventual goal is to write stories 24/7, but right now that isn’t financially possible for me. At this point I am working on starting my own publishing company and am also working nights as a fundraiser. It’s a great job getting to help others, but I want to work in the publishing world because I love books so much.








Friday, October 21, 2011

Author Interview: Stephanie Campbell: Part 1

Today, I'm interviewing Stephanie Campbell who is also know as Ronnie Toll, one of her characters.  I can never identify that closely with my characters, but mine tend to be non-humans.  Steph's (or Ronnie's) new book is called Poachers.

First off, as a way of introduction, I am going to ask you why I am asking you these interview question?

I'm not one hundred percent sure. I fear that I may have stumbled here by mistake. Looks around anxiously. Is that an alien? 
No, just kidding. I am here to pretend that this interview isn't a cleverly disguised way to talk about my new book, Poachers.

I see that you like to write comedy. Do you "get in the comedy mood" before you write?

Nope. I'm just funny naturally. At least, I am under the impression that I am funny naturally. Of course, chances are good that people are laughing at my apparent lack of common sense rather than my jokes, but who's to say?

Do you work people that you hate into your novels?

Not really. I relay the emotions that people create in me in my novels. I'll deliberately make myself depressed in order to get a dramatic scene if need be.

Say you are REALLY hungry. Do you find a way to write about food in your books?
Oh yes. I outline my books deliberately, but if you see any reference to food in my books, chances are good that it was a half an hour until lunch time when I was writing the scene and that I was desperate for some goodies. 
Do you do anything really weird to prepare for writing? 
I have a very set schedule. I get up at 7:45 and go for a nice, relaxing run and then begin my writing day. I also set aside schedules to do each thing, like editing and writing and querying.

Are you as funny in real life as you are in your books?
I would like to think so. You'd have to ask the people around me. I'm pretty sure that 75% of the world thinks I'm nuts more than funny, but that's my own guess. Laughs.
Are you a people person?
I am a bi-polar person. I will go in my cave to write, and then I have moments where all I want to do is socialize. I can get distant, though. I have a rule where I must leave my house at least one day a week to socialize, even during my “closeted” writing stages. 
What is your favorite book?
Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer. I have never met a more complex and amazing character as Artemis Fowl. I mean, he's an evil genius, but you want him to win! The tables are totally flipped from the norm. I love it!

If you had the choice between meeting a famous author and meeting Penelope Cruz, who would you choose to meet?
An author, unless it was Viggo Mortenson. Sighs dreamily. Dear Viggo, when will you realize that I am your true love. 
Some writers have weird quirks. Jack London even pretended to be a wolf and ate raw meat. Do you have weird quirks?
Oh yeah. Some people don't know this about me, but I take on the personality of whoever it is I am writing about. It used to be a subconscious, but I guess it's conscious now that I realize that I'm doing it. I just can't stop. I get angry if I'm an angry character, and I get nuts if I'm writing a nuts character...though I suppose the fact that I method write so completely that I act like my characters is “nuts.” Also, I get emotional with my characters.
Finally, the question the separates the men from the boys. If you were a fruit, what kind of fruit would you be? Why?
Mmmm. A nectarine. It's my favorite fruit. I would then eat myself, and the world would be a better place.

Book Bio:
Ronnie Toll has never played with other kids. He's never slept soundly throughout the night, turned a corner without checking first, or laughed for the sake of laughing. All Ronnie knows is a world of shadows and monsters. His mother and father, Marion and Leon, are the only ones by his side. But all that is about to change when his mother is murdered by the monsters that only he can see. With his only safe haven crumbling around him, Ronnie becomes a poacher for the other side to help protect human civilization as he knows it. The problem is, he’s taking on more than he bargained for when he tangles with creatures that are larger than life—and himself. 
About Me:
Stephanie Campbell had her first book, Until We Meet Again, published at the age of seventeen. Now, at twenty, she is still wacking away at her computer, one day at a time. When she isn't reading or writing, she likes to dance, take karate lessons, and run. After all, you never know when you're about to be sucked into another world. 

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Faux News Network Expands its coverage


Faux News Network is proud to announce that it has signed agreements to greatly expand its network.  Effective immediately, a news bureau will be established in Dun Hythe, the capital of Gundarland.  A second bureau will be set up on Zaftan 31B, the home planet of the aliens known as Zaftans.
Our Gundarland bureau chief is named Sandra Elfenheimer.  She will concentrate on interviews and updates on the lives of the many story characters that live there.
On Zaftan 31B, Chazerei will head up the bureau.  We have asked her to compare election processors on Zaftan 31B and on Earth.  Look for her report in the near future.
Since both these bureaus are in a parallel universe, Faux News Network is the first news organization to expand into other worlds and we will be the first news organization to use the newly developed Wormhole Communication System.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Introductory Discounts

To celebrate the initial availablility of my book, I'm offering deep discounts on the print and ebooks versions of this exciting new novel.  The discounts are 1/3 off the ebook and $5.00 off the print version

To get the discounted price on the ebook version go to http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/90182  and enter coupon code QQ58D at checkout.
To get a discounted print version, it must be ordered fromCreatespace  https://www.createspace.com/3656094.  Enter coupon code 6BMT7TA6 at checkout
While the coupon won't work on Amazon, you can log in using your Amazon account.
These discounts will be valid until October 31

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

FNN: NFL to add lawyers for booth reviews







Jock Strapper, our sports reporter, filed this exclusive report.  According to a NFL source who requested to remain anonymous, the booth review process will now be joined by teams of lawyers from both teams.  The lawyers' job will be to ensure that the referees interpret the rules correctly. "Today's rules are extremely complex because they are written by squads of lawyers.  It has become apparent that the field officials are not qualified to interpret all the nuances of the modern rules.  Hence the need for teams of review lawyers."
Rather than have the lawyers bill on time spent, which could add thirty minutes or more to each review process, the NFL and the lawyers have reached an agreement that pays each lawyer a thousand dollars for every review they participate in.
Under the recently passed Full Employment for Lawyers Act, the Federal Government will reimburse the clubs for their new legal costs.
The source went on to say, that under this plan, the lawyers won't add more than five or seven minutes to the review process. We plan to entertain the fans during these extend reviews, we plan to air more commercials. 
FNN will bring you more on the impact of this decision after we interviewed some fans who face even more boring breaks in the action.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

It's Party Time!

FNN  banner

Faux News Network Spokesman:  It is my great pleasure to announce that Faux News Network in association with Strange Worlds Online presents the official launch party for Hank Quense's new novel, Zaftan Miscreants: Book 2 of the Zaftan Trilogy.
Ms. Marcia Hammerhead will be the Mistress of Ceremonies for the party.  You can watch her ZaftanMiscreantFront2arecent interview with Mr. Quense on YouTube.
And now, here is Ms Hammerhead.
Ms. Hammerhead:  I don't know why I have to do this stuff.  I hate genre fiction. Especially Quense's fiction.  Unfortunately, I need the money, so here goes.
This launch party is a virtual scavenger hunt.  If you go to various websites and find the correct pages, you can accumulate prizes that aren't virtual, they're real stuff.  However, if you're looking for true literature, you're out of luck.  The prizes are all trashy genre stuff.
First off, go the website http://strangeworldsonline.com. This is the home page.  Your job is to find the Zaftan Miscreants main page.  On that page you'll see what you won.
Next, go to Facebook, find the Strange Worlds Online page and click on "like". (Why you would 'like' this escapes me.) This entitles you to win one, possibly two ebooks filled with genre garbage. If you're unlucky, you may even win an ebook copy of Tales From Gundalrland, more of Quense's  drivel.
Personally, I think you should skip this scavenger hunt, get a copy of Moby Dick or Shakespeare's plays and read some true literature.
But, what do I know?  By the way, don't bother to watch the interview.  It's terrible.