Showing posts with label Faux News Network. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Faux News Network. Show all posts

Friday, April 20, 2012

FNN Report: Sports Cliches



FNN sports reporter, Jock Strapper, has analyzed thousands of newspaper, TV and radio sports reports searching for the most overused cliches.  Here are his winners (losers?)
1) "We have to take it game at a time." What else can they do?  Take a week at a time?  A season?  A play?  An inning? This cliche implies that that the team will refuse to play tomorrow’s game before today’s game is played which is ridiculous until we develop time-travel.
2) "I have to stay inside myself." If anyone understands what this means please write a  comment because I have no idea what this means. It doesn't make any sense to me.  Can a player stay outside of himself?  How does he do that?
3) "We have to take what he other team gives us." Really? If the other team is good, this sounds like an expectation of losing because the good team won't give them anything worth taking.
4) "This is a victory/game/tournament/performance for the ages." What arrogance!  What hyperbole!  Two days later hardly anyone will remember who won the victory/game/tournament/performance of this "one for the ages."
Strapper is looking for more sports cliches to expand the list.  If you have one, please write a comment with the cliche.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Faux News Network: Readers ask


FNN receives many emails from our readers asking us questions about the perplexing modern world.  Periodically from now on, we will print several of these questions so that other readers can offer answers or suggestions.

* Is it true that Steve Jobs' brain has been transplanted to a computer hard drive and he'll continue to design new products?

* Do you think Perry and Romney will settle the settle the Republican nomination with a gunfight in a small town? Will the NRA sponsor the duel?

* I saw an app on Facebook that offers to file my 1040 Tax form if I send them the info including my social security number.  Is this safe to use?

* Why don't the Wall Street demonstrators go out and get jobs instead of hanging out and bothering working people?

* Now the Yankees Alex Rodriguez had a pathetic playoff series, will he give back part of his salary?

Help our readers by posting your comments and answers