Wednesday, February 15, 2012

FNN Report: Dem Super-PAC funds Santorum and Gingrich



Faux News Network has an exclusive report that a Democratic Super-PAC is secretly sending funds to both the Santorum and Gingrich campaigns.
Our political reporter Stacy Conundrum met with Mr. Bigmoney(an alias).
To protect his identify, he showed up wearing a paper sack over his head and surgical gloves on his hand so he wouldn't leave behind any fingerprints.  He also disguised his voice with an electronic device.
Stacy Conundrum:  Why is a Democratic PAC giving money to Republican candidates?
Bigmoney:  It's quite simple.  President Obama will beat any of the major candidates that are trying for the nomination.  But beating Romney will take mo money than beating Santorum and Gingrich.  Therefore, if Santorum or Gingrich get the nomination, we can use the money not spent on the presidential campaign on Congressional races.  So, thanks to our wonderful Supreme Court, we can raise all the money we want and spend it any way we want, including throwing money to Republican candidates when it is our strategic interests.
SC:  So all this bizarre behavior comes from the Supreme Court's decision that corporations are people and they have freedom of speech rights?
BM:  That's right, Stacy.  Those idiots on the court bench had no idea what they were about to unleash and I think they still don't know what is going on.  What a great country we live in, don't you agree?
SC: I have to think about that before I answer.  We'll have more on this at a later date including Mr. Bigmoney's indentitiy

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